Just moments ago, he walked into the sharpest counter-punch of his life.

Donald Trump spent the evening sounding like a jilted lover on social media: China, he wailed, has tightened its choke-hold on rare earths again. In retaliation, he vowed to slap 100 % tariffs on every Chinese product that still reaches American shelves. Translation: he’s losing his cool, because Beijing just hit back—hard.

Here’s what happened. Washington and Beijing had agreed to meet in Frankfurt on 10 November to talk trade. The customary choreography calls for both sides to smile, lower the temperature, and arrive with goodwill gestures. Instead, Team Trump decided to manufacture leverage. On 14 October, the United States will begin charging any Chinese-owned, Chinese-built or Chinese-flagged vessel a “port fee” of US $1 million per call—or US $1,000 per dead-weight ton, whichever is higher. Carriers whose fleets are more than 50 % Chinese-built will pay the full million; smaller shares ratchet down to US $750 k or US $500 k. The message was classic Trump: cancel the fee if you want—but only after you pay for it at the bargaining table.

Since January the White House has used the same shakedown on half a dozen countries, and every one of them blinked. Then they tried it on Beijing—and kicked a steel plate.

Forty-eight hours later China answered with four simultaneous bulletins:

1. Export licences required for super-hard materials.
2. Licences for lithium-battery anodes.
3. Licences for selected rare-earth oxides and metals.
4. Licences for the magnets, furnaces and chemicals used to make them.

The next day Beijing added a mirror rule: every U.S.-owned or U.S.-flagged ship calling at a Chinese port will now pay “special tonnage dues” of—coincidentally—about US $1 million per visit, also starting 14 October.

The symmetry is darkly comic, but the sting is asymmetrical. The United States is the world’s top importer; China is the world’s top factory. A single container can be taxed coming and going, and the bill lands in American wallets twice: once at Long Beach, once at Shanghai. Remember the line: China has the goods, America has the printers. When the printers run faster than the cargo, paper is cheap and widgets are king. A million-dollar surcharge on a hold full of sneakers is inflation with a shipping label.

And Beijing was only warming up. The new rare-earth rule reaches straight into foreign supply chains: any product containing more than 0.1 % Chinese rare-earth content by value needs a Chinese export permit—whether the factory is in Michigan, Bavaria or Tijuana. Call it long-arm jurisdiction with Chinese characteristics; Washington invented the playbook, Beijing just turned the page. For good measure, regulators also opened an anti-monopoly probe into Qualcomm, the San-Diego chip designer that makes a fifth of its global revenue in China.

One American punch, four Chinese counter-punches—all delivered with America’s own favorite weapons. No wonder the former president’s post read like a break-up text written at 3 a.m.

When two convoys meet on a narrow mountain road, the braver driver keeps the headlights on.